TOEFL Writing Task 1 Sample: summarize the points in the lecture, being sure to explain how they change they specific points made in the reading passage.

1.子项得分 任务完成度: 4 组织: 3 连贯与衔接: 3 语言使用: 3

2.预估分数

22. 3.任务完成度

你的文章基本上完成了任务要求，但是在某些方面还有改进的空间。例如，在引用听力部分的观点时，可以更详细地解释这些观点是如何反驳阅读材料中的论点的。此外，尝试更准确地使用专业术语和表达。

示例1： 原文： "The reading passage talks about three aspects that the Celtic people adopted into their own culture form ancient Greek ones." 改进： "The reading passage claims that the Celtic people adopted various aspects of ancient Greek culture, such as festive meals, language, and artwork."

示例2： 原文： "And they do not discuss pilosophy while having festive meals, they chat instead." 改进： "Instead of discussing philosophy during their festive meals like the Greeks, the Celts engaged in casual conversations and even arguments."

4.文章结构与组织 文章的结构和组织方面需要加强。首先，确保引入段落清晰地概述了阅读和听力材料中的主要观点。其次，在正文段落中明确地区分阅读和听力材料，并使用恰当的过渡词来连接不同的想法。最后，尝试在结论段落中总结文章，并指出听力材料是如何反驳阅读材料的观点的。

示例1： 原文： "On the contrary, the professor in the listening part contends that Celtic people are not so impressive to the Greek culture and the statements proposed in the article are flawed fundamentally." 改进： "However, the professor in the listening passage disagrees with these claims, arguing that Celtic culture was not significantly influenced by ancient Greek culture and that the reading passage's arguments are fundamentally flawed."

示例2： 原文： "At last, the similar designs in Cletic indicates the art and handicrafts were also heavily influenced by Greek people." 改进： "Lastly, although the reading passage suggests that similar designs in Celtic art indicate a heavy influence from Greek culture, the professor provides a different perspective."

5. 语法批改

The reading passage talks about three aspects that the Celtic people adopted into their own culture formfrom(Detects potentially wrong usage of "form") ancient Greek ones. On the contrary, the professor in the listening part contends that Celtic people are not so impressive to the Greek culture and the statements proposed in the article are flawed fundamentally.

Initially,Greek, Greek(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) drinking vessels were found at many Celtic archaeological sites, indicating the Celts adopted the Greek custom of festive meals and used Greek pottery during those feasts. However, the lecturer argues that many historymany histories(Possible agreement error: 'many/several/few' + singular countable noun) suggests Celts have their own tradition of festive meals, which changes a little after they have more contact with Greek. Plus, though the Celtic occasionally use special vessels, the Celtic people from other classes can also participate in the activity, not just the rich people. And they do not discuss pilosophyphilosophy(misspelling) while having festive meals, they chat instead.

Moreover, historians conclude that the Greek language became common among some Celtic elites and speaking Greek became an important aspect of being refined and educated among the Celts. Nevertheless, the speaker believes that it dosen'tdoesn't(he dosn't (doesn't)) mean the Greek language become part of education in Celts because many people learn it just to trade with Greek people,which, which(Use of whitespace before comma and before/after parentheses) not means more refiendrefined(misspelling) or have more culture.

At last, the similar designs in CleticCeltic(misspelling) indicates the art and handicrafts were also heavily influenced by Greek people. The professor suggests that characters in CleticCeltic(misspelling) could be inspired by Africa and Asia independently, and in their culture, they have distinctive figuersfigures(misspelling) different from Greek. The CleticCeltic(misspelling) designs does not have human figures in Greek methologymythology(misspelling) and pick any stories there at all.

6.文章修订

The reading passage claims that the Celtic people adopted various aspects of ancient Greek culture, such as festive meals, language, and artwork. However, the professor in the listening passage disagrees with these claims, arguing that Celtic culture was not significantly influenced by ancient Greek culture and that the reading passage's arguments are fundamentally flawed.

Firstly, the reading passage asserts that Greek drinking vessels found at Celtic archaeological sites indicate that the Celts adopted the Greek custom of festive meals and used Greek pottery during those feasts. In contrast, the lecturer contends that historical evidence suggests that Celts had their own tradition of festive meals which changed little after contact with Greeks. Although they occasionally used Greek drinking vessels, Celtic feasts were more inclusive, allowing people from all social classes to participate. Furthermore, instead of discussing philosophy during their festive meals like Greeks did, Celts engaged in casual conversations and even arguments.

Secondly, historians mentioned in the reading passage conclude that speaking Greek became an important aspect of being refined and educated among the Celts. Nevertheless, the speaker refutes this claim by stating that learning Greek was primarily for trade purposes between Celtic and Greek people rather than an indication of cultural refinement or education among Celtic elites.

Lastly, although the reading passage suggests that similar designs in Celtic art indicate a heavy influence from Greek culture, the professor provides a different perspective. The lecturer argues that Celtic artists could have been inspired by African and Asian designs independently of Greeks since they were in direct contact with these cultures at that time. Moreover, distinctive elements in Celtic art remained different from those found in Greek art. For instance, while Greek art often depicted human figures representing stories from their mythology, Celtic artwork focused on plant, animal or geometric shapes without any human figures or stories.

In summary, despite some superficial similarities between ancient Greek and Celtic cultures as mentioned in the reading passage, the professor effectively refutes these claims by providing alternative explanations and highlighting the distinctiveness of Celtic culture. (341 words)

7.文章批改

The reading passage talks about three aspects claims that the Celtic people adopted into their own various aspects of ancient Greek culture, such as festive meals, language, and artwork. (This revision provides a clearer and more concise summary of the reading passage's main points.) However, the professor in the listening passage disagrees with these claims, arguing that Celtic culture form was not significantly influenced by ancient Greek ones. On the contrary, the professor in the listening part contends that Celtic people culture and that the reading passage's arguments are not so impressive to the Greek culture and the statements proposed in the article are flawed fundamentally. fundamentally flawed. (This sentence has been rephrased to better convey the professor's disagreement with the reading passage.)

Initially,Greek Firstly, the reading passage asserts that Greek drinking vessels were found at many Celtic archaeological sites, indicating sites indicate that the Celts adopted the Greek custom of festive meals and used Greek pottery during those feasts. However, (The sentence has been restructured for clarity.) In contrast, the lecturer argues that many history contends that historical evidence suggests that Celts have had their own tradition of festive meals, meals which changes a changed little after contact with Greeks. (The word "history" has been replaced with "historical evidence" for accuracy.) Although they have occasionally used Greek drinking vessels, Celtic feasts were more contact with Greek. Plus, though the Celtic occasionally use special vessels, the Celtic inclusive, allowing people from other all social classes can also participate in the activity, not just the rich people. And they do not discuss pilosophy while having to participate. Furthermore, instead of discussing philosophy during their festive meals, they chat instead. meals like Greeks did, Celts engaged in casual conversations and even arguments. (This sentence has been revised to improve clarity and flow.)

Moreover, Secondly, historians mentioned in the reading passage conclude that the Greek language became common among some Celtic elites and speaking Greek became an important aspect of being refined and educated among the Celts. Nevertheless, the speaker believes that it dosen't mean the Greek language become part of refutes this claim by stating that learning Greek was primarily for trade purposes between Celtic and Greek people rather than an indication of cultural refinement or education in Celts because many people learn it just to trade with Greek people,which not means more refiend or have more culture. among Celtic elites. (This sentence has been rephrased to better convey the speaker's argument.)

At last, the Lastly, although the reading passage suggests that similar designs in Cletic indicates the Celtic art and handicrafts were also heavily influenced by Greek people. indicate a heavy influence from Greek culture, the professor provides a different perspective. (The professor suggests that characters in Cletic word "indicates" has been replaced with "suggests" to better convey the reading passage's implication.) The lecturer argues that Celtic artists could be have been inspired by Africa and Asia independently, and in their culture, African and Asian designs independently of Greeks since they have were in direct contact with these cultures at that time. Moreover, distinctive figuers elements in Celtic art remained different from Greek. The Cletic designs does not have those found in Greek art. For instance, while Greek art often depicted human figures in Greek methology and pick representing stories from their mythology, Celtic artwork focused on plant, animal or geometric shapes without any stories there at all.human figures or stories. (This sentence has been revised to improve clarity and flow.)

In summary, despite some superficial similarities between ancient Greek and Celtic cultures as mentioned in the reading passage, the professor effectively refutes these claims by providing alternative explanations and highlighting the distinctiveness of Celtic culture. (This sentence has been rephrased to provide a stronger conclusion.)

8.思维导图

- Introduction
  - Reading passage claims
    - Celtic culture influenced by ancient Greek culture
  - Listening passage disagrees
    - Celtic culture not significantly influenced by Greek culture

- Festive Meals
  - Reading passage: Greek drinking vessels found at Celtic sites
  - Listening passage: Celts had their own tradition of festive meals
    - Inclusive, casual conversations, and arguments

- Language
  - Reading passage: Speaking Greek as a sign of refinement and education among Celts
  - Listening passage: Learning Greek primarily for trade purposes

- Artwork
  - Reading passage: Similar designs in Celtic art indicate heavy influence from Greek culture
  - Listening passage: Celtic artists could have been inspired independently by African and Asian designs; distinctive elements remained different from Greek art

- Conclusion
  - Professor refutes reading passage claims with alternative explanations and highlights distinctiveness of Celtic culture.

9.关键词